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May. 27th, 2009

Zoidberg

(no subject)

If any of you know anyone in San Antonio that owns a business or who could somehow find me a job, I would be extremely grateful if you could hook me up with them, put in a good word, etc. Your parents? Their friends? Your friends? To be clear, I have no degree, so I'll take anything you can throw my way. I'll be looking for a while, I'm sure.

Feb. 10th, 2009

Zoidberg

Drive-in Theater

My family's Suburban was stolen last night and driven into the Rialto. I do hope this is the death of it.

http://www.ksat.com/news/18680168/detail.html#video/

Nov. 30th, 2008

Zoidberg

Life is Insane


The Crossdressing Family Man Down the Block

Nov. 15th, 2008

Zoidberg

E lucevan le stelle

Nov. 14th, 2008

Zoidberg

Eskimo Why?

I got a hand-written postcard from Alaska a few days before the election. The front had a picture of a dogsled and the flag of Alaska, along with a list of "Alaska's symbols". (Did you know that Alaska's motto is "North to the Future"?) The back of the card reads:

Hello! As a youth in Alaska I vehemently support Obama! He has a fantastic tax plan that will cut taxes for 95% of Americans and he will help make college more affordable for students like me. I am so excited for the future of our country if Obama is elected. I hope you will vote for him! 

Thank you, 
Maya, 17

I was baffled.
Zoidberg

A play in no acts

Dramatis Personae:



Act None:




Exit all.

Nov. 12th, 2008

Zoidberg

(no subject)

The world is a vampire
Sent to drain
Secret destroyers
Hold you up to the flames
And what do I get
For my pain
Betrayed desires
And a piece of the game
Even though I know
I suppose I'll show
All my cool and cold
Like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Now I'm naked, nothing but an animal
But can you fake it, for just one more show
And what do you want, I want to change
And what have you got
When you feel the same
Even though i know
I suppose i'll show
All my cool and cold
Like old job

Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage
Then someone will say what is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage

Tell me I'm the only one
Tell me there's no other one
Jesus was an only son
Tell me I'm the chosen one
Jesus was an only son for you
Despite all my rage i am still just a rat in a cage
And i still believe that i cannot be saved.

Nov. 11th, 2008

Zoidberg

Bambi's mother

I just saw a deer walking around lost on campus. There are always rabbits running around or occasionally hawks eating squirrels, but this is the first time I've seen a deer. I felt really sorry for it, wandering around in this inhospitable human environment with people staring at it, and it having no idea where to go.

It walked in front of me for the length of a soccer field. Eventually it stopped at the end of the field trying to figure out where to go now, and a small group of people gathered around it taking pictures with their cell phones or just staring. I stopped for a few seconds, but quickly turned and went my way out of fear that somehow it might end up running and smashing into me, since that wouldn't be surprising at all, or, more likely, that I might have to watch as it ran off and fell down one of the nearby, giant stairways that lead down a hill.

Nov. 4th, 2008

Zoidberg

Yes I Did

I just voted for Barack Obama. Mmm-mmm-mmm. That felt good.

Oct. 1st, 2008

Zoidberg

Holy Shit!




Does that slogan remind you of anything? Maybe what I posted on September 9th:

"If I were in Obama's shoes right now my campaign slogan would be 'Can you afford to vote Republican?'"

Cool.

Sep. 17th, 2008

Zoidberg

Hoo-fucking-ray

Yesterday was a very good day for the Obama campaign. This current collapse of one venerable financial institution after another has gotten him onto the economy message that he needs to harp on until election day if he has any hope of winning. His talk of a faulty economic "philosophy" comes close enough to running against the Republican label to be effective. Plus, he was in rare form today out on the stump. He was actually fairly animated and engaging instead of yawn-inspiring and "professorial" as he too often is.

The bailout of AIG is another golden egg for him. Thank you so much, Republicans, for destroying our economy. Only when the total failures of your policies and ideology become undeniable do Democrats seem to have any chance of winning.

Sep. 15th, 2008

Zoidberg

The Second Coming of Bush

Palin really is scaring me into wanting to do something to support Obama. While I don't believe that McCain is George Bush's twin, Palin does seem to be eerily similar:

Folksy, crappy governor from a giant state
Doesn't know world leaders
Can't answer questions about foreign policy
Pursues petty vendettas

And scariest of all is that she is probably more loony in her religious views. Bush is a Christian and believes much of the crap he says, but to a large extent he was merely using evangelicals. But she was a Pentecostal and goes to an evangelical church. If McCain wins and then drops dead, we are fucked.

(I'm very proud of that title, by the way.)

Sep. 9th, 2008

Zoidberg

Poop on Palin

I really think Obama/Biden should spend about a week attacking Sarah Palin. She's an appealing character and is part of McCain's bounce post-convention (which I am pleased - sort of - to have been right about). I think I would make the centerpiece of my attack her disgusting dishonesty in trying to claim that she opposed "The Bridge to Nowhere." She supported it. Then she opposed it when it became a national controversy, and she threw Ted Stephens under her bus and kept all the federal money. Attacking her for this would effectively destroy her ethical appeal to everyone but Evangelical shit-brains and show McCain to be a fool.

Here's about how I'd do it:

"What does it say about John McCain's judgment that he picked for his running mate - a person who might be a heartbeat away from the presidency - a woman that he only met once for an hour. What does it say about John McCain's judgment that he chose a woman who boasts about opposing that bridge to nowhere when she really supported it, then shifted with the political winds, then kept all your tax money? What does it say about his judgment that he chose someone whose so-called "maverick" quality is a lie? For the last week she's been selling herself with a lie! Did he know about that? It only took us about two minutes on Google to find out. Oh - but I forgot. John McCain doesn't know how to use the internet."

If they insisted on making the McCain-Bush parallel, I'd continue:

"What does it say about his judgment? Who does this kind of choice remind you of: Recklessly gambling our nation's future on a gut feeling? Not getting enough information before he acts? Who does that remind you of? Anyone we know? Sounds a little like George W. Bush doesn't it? So do you want a president with that kind of judgment for another four years?..."

Later, when asked, "Do you think Sarah Palin is a liar?", I'd reply, "What do you call someone who repeatedly and publicly tells a lie?".

Destroy her. Destroy her ethical appeal. Make her an anchor around McCain's neck.

But after tearing her to shreds, I'd get back on that economy message. If I were in Obama's shoes right now my campaign slogan would be "Can you afford to vote Republican?"

I am now decidely behind Obama, and not just for the great view. McCain's choice of this woman is unacceptable to me. I don't want another Bible-thumper anywhere near the White House. And really, what does it say about his judgment that he chose a liar like her?

I also really love that this woman who supports abstinance only education now has a pregnant seventeen-year-old daughter. Bristol Palin is Juneau's Juno.

(I know they're not from Juneau.)

Sep. 5th, 2008

Zoidberg

A surprisingly long ramble on the conventions and the Democratic campaign

I thought Palin's speech was very good. Giuliani's speech was as excellent as I expected (though not as good as I remember his 2004 convention speech being). Regardless of how obnoxious I find his gung ho embrace of Republican rhetoric (the attacks on the liberal media, in particular), the man gives a powerful and effective speech.

One thing in both of those speeches that I found totally out of line though, was the denigration of Obama's work as a community organizer. I guess the "service" I saw on those little audience signs doesn't apply in this instance. Despite the Republicans' insistence that non-governmental groups should be the primary providers of social services and despite all their anti-government rhetoric, it seems only service in a political office counts for anything.

McCain's speech was very good. It was the kind of speech I had expected from Obama. It seems like McCain spent far more of his time laying out his policies and the reasons to vote for him than Obama did and less time attacking his opponent. But I may be misremembering. Regardless, I found McCain's speech more moving, and it reminded me of all the reasons I like him. Most of all, for his commitment to principle and his honesty, his straight talk. Those things came through tonight, and I'm more tempted than I was before to vote for him. (But I won't.)

I'm guessing that he'll get a big bump in the poles. But you know my track record on trying to predict public opinion/elections. (I was and am still right about Iraq, however.)

I thought the Democratic convention went pretty well. Not as well as the Republican one, but well. I love Michele Obama. Her speech was good and very Obama-esque. She did a good job making Obama seem less elitist/Muslim/whatever stupid thing stupid people think. I doubt it did much good, but probably a tiny bit.

I want to trade lives with Ted Kennedy, or at least go for a ride on his schooner. Caroline Kennedy was great. You wouldn't think oratorical abilities were a heritable trait, but they obviously are in that family.

Kerry's speech was surprisingly good.

While Hillary delivered her speech wonderfully, it was totally inadequate in its meager support for Obama. She needed to HAMMER, HAMMER, HAMMER into the heads of the dumbfuck die-hards that she supports him and that his values and policies are the same ones she fought for and the reason why they voted for her. She said all that, but not forcefully or repetitively enough. (If you saw CNN's post-speech interview of one of those diehards, you know that they must be slapped to their senses and that that speech didn't do it.) You would think 20 million dollars (which she shouldn't have been given) would have bought more lavish support. What a bitch.

Bill Clinton's speech was very good. No surprise. Biden's was alright.

Obama's speech was a surprise. It wasn't the breath-taking, heady stuff of 2004 that I and everyone else expected. It was a shrewdly negative speech. I'm glad that we have a Democrat who understands the necessity of going negative and using the convention as a platform to do so (even as you pretend to be post-partisan). After the first night the Dems did a good job going negative. But I think this whole McCain = Bush bullshit is not the right strategy. I don't think anyone believes it even now. As the campaign goes on, its falseness will likely be plain to all.

I would tweak the attack to make it one against the whole Republican "brand", as they're calling it these days. That "McCain voted with Bush 90 or 95 per cent of the time" stuff is great. But like I said, if you frame it as McCain is Bush II, it's going to be an ineffectual, obvious lie. Run against their brand and on ours. Say we need a Democrat now, not a Republican. Say we need one because of the economy. Spend all your time talking about how Democrats are better for the economy. PEOPLE ALREADY BELIEVE IT! Poll after poll shows that the vast majority think the Democrats do a better job with the economy. (Not a good time to be post-partisan.) Make the economy everything, since it is what people are most concerned about now, you lucky, stupid Democratic bastards. Say nothing more about Iraq but that you'll bring the troops home responsibly and soon. Let that issue die.

Actually, the reality may be that McCain and a Democratic congress would be better for the economy. At the very least, we'd get a balanced budget. But would he restore the kind of regulation that we need to prevent more of these economic crises? Probably, but not for sure.

And McCain may win. Even without the elitism problem (that "bitter" comment and the uncharacteristically horrible handling of it was a disaster), the racism, and all that Muslim crap, the inexperience thing could be a killer. While I really don't think experience matters as much as intelligence, judgment, and political orientation, I cringed throughout the DNC whenever Dems tried to use as a qualification the pathetically short and undistinguished record Obama has in office. And the Republicans certainly tore it up this week.

Oh well. I like McCain, and I am not sure his victory wouldn't be the better outcome. If only it weren't for the Supreme Court and gay marriage. Then I think I would actually vote for him. It seems generally better for the country to have different parties in the White House and Congress. (I also like the nuclear power thing with McCain.) On the other hand, it would be really good for the progress of race relations in this country if Obama won, and I trust him a bit more on most foreign policy issues other than Iraq.

Finally, who is the moron who keeps scheduling the DNC before the RNC? What the fuck!

Aug. 6th, 2008

Zoidberg

Yeah, what he said.

O God! that one might read the book of fate,
And see the revolution of the times
Make mountains level, and the continent,
Weary of solid firmness, melt itself
Into the sea! and, other times, to see
The beachy girdle of the ocean
Too wide for Neptune's hips; how chances mock,
And changes fill the cup of alteration
With divers liquors! O, if this were seen,
The happiest youth, viewing his progress through,
What perils past, what crosses to ensue,
Would shut the book, and sit him down and die.

- Henry IV, Part II

Not Shakespeare's best, but the sentiment I share.

Jul. 31st, 2008

Zoidberg

I'm putting flowers in my hair right now

Do you know what the expected high temperature in San Francisco is tomorrow? 58 degrees! I have got to get myself there or anywhere it isn't this fucking hot. I fucking hate this place.

Jul. 21st, 2008

Zoidberg

"Sincerely yours, Woodrow Wilson"

21,000 soldiers posing as Woodrow Wilson
"Sincerely yours, Woodrow Wilson"

Jun. 5th, 2008

Zoidberg

For Philip

Zoidberg

(no subject)

I'm transferring to the Barbizon School of Modeling.

Jun. 4th, 2008

Zoidberg

If you want me to throw up on your face just say these magic words

"The last best hope"

"Deja vu all over again"

"It's the economy, stupid"

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